I felt an okayness AND I was feeling my emotions more powerful and fully than I ever had in my life. That was such a gift. I felt like I am really alive now, I’m really living life; I’m not just escaping life. I can have that sense of peace right in the mix of dancing in the fire of life.
The softness and gentleness of the teachers and the approach, it seemed to have a very deep and powerful way of transforming me and others around me. Waking Down is, in my sense, more of an invitation, and a really sweet invitation to me, where I am. It comes closer and deeper there.
So do you see the beauty and glory for me of finding a group of Beloveds who are capable of Trust? Who have come to perceive the value of Conscious Embodiment? Who are willing to risk with me whatever it takes to bring forth themselves in Consciousness and honesty? Who have become capable of staying in the room and going through the hard places, hearing hard feedback, giving me themselves in all their freedom, in all their rawness?
Throughout my life I’ve had a recurring dream of driving a car downhill with brakes that barely work. I mean I have to press really hard on the foot petal and use all my physical strength, focus and will power to keep from losing control. Somehow I always manage to avert the unknown terrifying event that would surely take place if I didn’t do all this efforting. I am always alone in this dream. After waking up I would feel drained and uncomfortable the next day.
All at once, it was as if the tide ran out and left me, like a shell or piece of driftwood, just sitting on the sand. I was just there, utterly and completely there with no pretense, no personality, nothing. I couldn’t have provided a social persona if you had offered me real money. I’d had zillions of different voices in my head telling me what to do for almost as long as I could remember. Suddenly, there on the bed, everyone shut up.
